There’s a new type of gnome on the market tonight. It’s been creeping around, supposedly under the guise of being an ordinary garden gnome. But if you look closely enough, you’ll see that it is anything but normal. These “sassy” little buggers have been making their way into yards for as much as a year. And so far, almost every one has gone undiscovered until it’s too late, something to keep in mind if you plan on purchasing one for your yard this holiday season.
What Are Sassy Garden Gnomes?
The sassy garden gnome is a terrifying creature indeed. Some reports have shown them not only being able to move their little feet, but their arms to an extent as well. They are able to stand on their own, though the weight of the hats they wear often cause them to tip over in strong winds or other types of weather. It is also believed that they have some type of social order when in large groups, sort of like bees in a hive.
What Makes Them Sassy?
Different reports have shown that these little creatures have been known to move at night, when homeowners are often asleep. When a homeowner wakes up in the morning and goes to their garden, they find that the sassy gnomes have rearranged themselves to form rude gestures with other garden ornaments. In some cases, it has been reported that sassy gnomes have even moved into the house to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. They are very mischievous little creatures.
How Can I Protect Myself?
Unfortunately, being aware is your best defense against these vile creatures. If you see any sign of them at all, contact pest control or exterminators immediately to remove them from your property. If you don’t act fast enough, these creatures can become very dangerous indeed. They can:
- Get into your food
- Steal small items from your house and carry them back to their little homes
- Use toothpicks as weapons against you, poking you even when they’re not in sight.
- Use their poison to pollute the air around your home. In extreme cases, it has been known for sassy garden gnomes to suffocate homeowners by spraying fumes directly into the air conditioning vents.
Beyond that, be sure to model good behavior at all times. Sassy gnomes are drawn to negativity and if they find any evidence of that in your life or your garden, then you could find yourself with even more than the usual amount of pests.
Be careful out there, and happy gardening!
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