Garden gnomes are usually depicted as lovable, even doe-eyed figures that sit around in cute poses with their pipes and pointy red hats. However, over the years there have been dozens of reports of garden gnomes doing things that aren’t quite so endearing…
Here are 12 hilarious (and slightly creepy) things that wacky garden gnomes have been reported to have done. Enjoy!
1. Gnome Takes a Leak
In 2009, a family in Washington state discovered their garden gnome had disappeared from its usual spot under the pine tree out front. They scoured the yard but couldn’t find it until a few days later when they spotted it down the road in someone else’s front yard. The gnome was leaning up against their house, holding a hose in its hand. A bit odd but no big deal, right? They left it alone and figured the new neighbors were using it as a yard decoration. When they came back to check on the garden gnome later, however, they realized it wasn’t the original gnome they had brought over from Europe. They realized it must have been a different gnome that was now in their yard and decided to take it back where they found it.
When they arrived, the family discovered that the residents of the house were not at all happy about finding something so strange on their doorstep. Gnomes, they explained, had been going missing from their property for the last two months. They were worried about who was taking them and what they wanted. When asked about the gnome in their yard, they admitted that it had indeed shown up there one day but it hadn’t taken a leak or broken any of their stuff so they just let it be.
2. Gnome on the Range
In 2009, a photographer and his girlfriend were staying at a friend’s house in South Cornwall, England. They had been there for three days when they heard some odd noises coming from outside their bedroom window. They figured an animal was out there so they ignored it and went back to sleep…until someone turned on their bedroom light.
When they woke up, they were surprised to see a garden gnome staring right at them from outside the window! The photographer wanted to take some photos of it so he opened the window and began snapping shots. When his girlfriend tried to touch it, however, the gnome suddenly turned its head towards her with an expression that seemed to say “don’t even think about it.” She quickly pulled her hand away and the gnome stared at them for a little longer before disappearing.
The couple left the house as soon as they could, feeling very creeped out. When they returned to retrieve their belongings, they discovered that someone had turned on all the burners on the stove and opened all of the doors. A search turned up no sign of who had been there or what they wanted.
3. Gnome Action from Beyond The Grave
In 2004, a couple living in Southern California claimed that someone (or something) was repeatedly moving their garden gnomes around at night and leaving them in different places on their property. At first, they assumed a neighbor was playing a prank on them but a psychic friend pointed out that the culprit was far more likely to be the couple’s recently deceased grandfather who had always enjoyed moving their gnomes around when he visited as a child.
4. Gnome-ic Shock
In 2014, an elderly woman living in Luxembourg City, Luxembourg was shocked when she awoke to find one of her most expensive gnomes had been stolen. This wasn’t just any garden decoration, the woman explained; the gnome in question had belonged to her husband who passed away three years earlier.
The wife called police and began organizing a neighborhood watch group in case someone was trying to target their property. That was when she noticed something strange: one of her other gnomes had been moved into the spot where her husband’s favorite used to be. It must have happened that morning, she thought, because it couldn’t possibly have stayed in that position for more than 24 hours without falling over.
The old woman put the gnome back into its position on the lawn and didn’t think much about it again…until her 10 year old grandson came over to visit. As soon as he saw the gnome, he began crying hysterically.
“That’s Granddad’s gnome!” he wailed. “They shouldn’t be using his special one! It belongs in the garden with Granddad!”
Talk about wacky!
5. Gnome Going Postal
In 2009, a man living in Colorado Springs, CO found that his post office box was being emptied at night and the letters were ending up somewhere on their property—but not with any set pattern. Some days there would be mail for one or two boxes, other times it would be ten or twelve.
The man and his wife used to joke about it being their “gnome mail” but they eventually decided to call the post office and get to the bottom of things. An investigation was launched and a postal worker soon confessed: he’d been taking the gnomes from around the neighborhood and placing them in front of people’s mailboxes so he could photograph them. He’d gotten the idea after seeing gnomes in front of mailboxes in model homes at a new housing development.
6. Gnome-nappers Strike!
A woman in San Antonio, TX was surprised when she found out her garden gnome had gone missing—and even more shocked when police said they knew who was responsible. Apparently, a group of teenage girls had forced one of their younger siblings to go and steal it for them so they could re-sell it at a discounted rate.
The cops caught up with the teenagers and were able to retrieve the gnome before it could be sold, though not before the girls took photos posing next to it and sent them to the sister of their ringleader.
7. Crazy Lady Garden Gnome Attacks Her Husband With A Sword
A husband learned his wife was cheating on him after she asked the gardener to put a note in the plant. The note under the plant said, “I am cheating on you.”
He then went into their backyard and found that his wife had left him another message in the form of garden gnomes. He found one statue holding a sign that read,“I am having an affair with the gardener.”
The most hilarious of them was when they found one holding two swords confronting her husband yelling, “Prepare for thy death!”
8. Beer Pong-Playing Gnome Gets Rinsed by His Friend
A man from Bethesda, Maryland, found a beer pong-playing garden gnome in front of his house. The figure was holding two cups that have been turned upside down on his head. He noticed that there was a tiny beer bottle in one of his hands, and it appeared as though he was about to throw the bottle. He noticed this right around the time when they were having a big party.
9. Gnomes Gone Wild! Bunch of Garden Gnomes Found Around a Man’s House Doing Some Dirty Dancing
A man from Boise, Idaho, found 20 garden gnomes around his property after he got home from work. He was inside the house for about an hour before he went out to check on them. What he discovered were the little figures doing some wacky things. His favorite one involved two of them engaging in a dance known as “dirty dancing”. They would then put on a show that involved them smashing into each other.
10. ‘Happy’ Wisconsinite Garden Gnome Shocks Elderly Man
A man from La Crosse, Wisconsin, looked around his yard one day and discovered a raunchy garden gnome sitting on the front porch with two large cucumbers protruding out of its pants. The man, who was well into his 70s, was shocked and disgusted. He had no idea how the gnome got there or who brought it over.
11. A Shocking Sight: Gnome With Fake P*n*s Photographed on Top of a Motorcycle
One man from Woodstock, Illinois, decided to take his motorcycle for a ride around town when he noticed that someone had placed an object on the seat of his bike. When he got home and took a closer look at it, he discovered that it was a garden gnome wearing a hat with a p*n*s made out of wire.
Bonus: Party-Going Gnome Caught Trying To Sell Illicit Items To Neighbors
A man from Santa Ana, California, had a gnome that would sometimes go out at night and come back the next morning after being up all night. Upon closer investigation, they found that he had been doing some illicit activities such as smoking marijuana and drinking beer with his buddies.
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