By D.H. Cook
In the United States, garden gnomes are a common sight in suburban yards.
Many people have a love/hate relationship with these anthropomorphic lawn ornaments-we find them either charming and hilarious, or tacky and annoying. But for some of us, they represent something more: an idea that has come to life.
The following five poems explore the joys and trials of having a garden gnome in your yard.
5) “Garden Gnome” by Cupcake Jones
Once upon a time there was a little gnome named Pete,
He loved eating insects and his grandma’s petunias,
They found him one day with those creepy people from those ’80s movies,
So now he lives in the garden.
On a shelf. On a pile of…uh, books.
“I was happy in my garden,
Living among the flowers and the trees,
But then they came and took me away,
To some cold, dark place where I can’t be free.
Now I’m stuck here on this shelf,
surveying a yard that is not my own,
I miss the sun and the flowers,
And I long to be back in my home.”
“Gnome”, from Cupcake Jones’ 2012 album “The Journey to the Swimming Hole”, is not only catchy and clever, but it conveys the feeling one gets when gnomes unexpectedly arrive for their temporary stay in your house-annoyance, followed by resignation, and finally acceptance.
4) “The Garden Gnome” by D.H. Cook
There’s a gnome in my garden and I don’t know what to do,
I tried drowning him in the pool but he climbed out with ease,
We put up signs advertising free gnomes for the taking,
And now there are three of them.
I tried to get rid of him but he just wouldn’t go,
He’s like a bad penny that keeps turning up,
I put him in the compost heap but he just hopped out again,
So now he’s permanent fixture in my garden.
Now he’s been with me for years,
And I’ve grown to kind of like him,
He’s not so bad when he’s not moving,
But as soon as he starts to wiggle,
I just want to scream.
The first line of D.H. Cook’s poem “The Garden Gnome” perfectly captures the feeling of desperation after finding out you have a gnome in your garden! It also shows the author’s sly sense of humor, as he makes light of some real-life dilemmas people with garden gnomes face on a daily basis.
3) “Gnome of the Night” by Jack Prelutsky
Gnome of the night,
watchman of the yard,
sentinel at the gate,
keeper of the lawn.
Your hair is white as snow,
your beard is long and gray,
you’ve been here for so long,
I sometimes think you’ll stay.
Jack Prelutsky’s “Gnome of the Night” perfectly captures the feeling of having a gnome in your yard-a sense of comfort mixed with a touch of dread. The gnome is always there, watching us, even as we sleep. It’s an uneasy reminder that we are not alone in the world.
2) “The Garden Gnome” by Shel Silverstein
There was a garden gnome,
Who sat on his porch all day,
But no one knew why,
He never seemed to smile.
Some said he was angry,
And some said he was sad,
But the reason for his frown,
Was a secret that he had.
One day a boy came by,
And the garden gnome said to him,
“Why do you think I’m so grumpy?
Do you know what’s wrong with me?”
The boy thought for a while,
And then he finally said,
“I think you are angry,
Because you’re not next to the shed.”
The poem “Gnome” by Shel Silverstein is both comical and thought-provoking. The author asks what might happen if a garden gnome decided to leave its post at the gate for an afternoon. The idea of removing the gnome from his home causes him to act out in anger, which is both unexpected and relatable.
1) “My Garden Gnome” by John Updike
My garden gnome
Is a jolly old elf,
He sits on his porch
All day long,
Smiling and laughing
And singing a song.
He watches over my yard
With a careful eye,
Keeping track of who comes and goes
And what they might do.
He’s been with me for years,
And I couldn’t be happier,
Having a garden gnome
To keep me safe and secure.
John Updike’s “My Garden Gnome” perfectly captures the joy and comfort that having a garden gnome brings. The poem also suggests that perhaps this is what we’ve wanted all along-for something, or someone, to take care of us and keep us safe from those who would do us harm.
0) “Gnome Problem” by Robert Frost
There was a man who had a problem
A garden gnome who wouldn’t stay put,
He tried to get rid of him
But the gnome was too clever,
He always managed to get away.
The man was getting frustrated,
Caught in a never-ending cycle,
But one day he had an idea,
He put the gnome in a box,
And shipped him off to China.
The poem “Gnome Problem” by Robert Frost perfectly sums up the feeling of exasperation that can come from trying to get rid of a garden gnome. It’s an issue that everyone who has a garden gnome has had to face at one point or another!
-1) “The Gnomes” by Edgar Guest
There are gnomes in the garden,
Little gnomes,
And they’re having a ball,
They’re laughing and joking
And playing with all.
The gnomes are so happy,
In their little world,
That nothing can bother them,
Not care or pain.
I sometimes watch them at night,
When the moon is bright,
And I envy their happiness,
Though I know it’s not right.
The poem “The Gnomes” by Edgar Guest perfectly captures the feeling of watching garden gnomes from a distance and feeling a sense of longing for that same happiness. Guest suggests that it’s not right to envy the happiness of the garden gnomes, but it’s difficult to not feel this way when reading his poem.
-2) “Gnome” by P.B. Shelley
What man has bent o’er his infant bed
To muse and brood?
And musing found in fancy’s maze
That bitter truth – that we must die!
The man hath marked how at its root
A tiny plant doth clasp the stone:
Though upward still it aspire,
By fatal law impelled alone;
What hand can shield that hapless shoot?
And who his hopes will ultimate raise,
Till nature’s course be run?
And where will he find the power to stay
That law, which impels it on to die?
The poem “Gnome” by P.B. Shelley perfectly describes the feeling of growing older, and how time makes us aware of our own mortality. It’s a poem that makes us pause and think about the things we should be doing with our lives, while we still have the chance to do them.
-3) “The Garden Gnome” by Mark Twain
I never saw a garden gnome
That I didn’t like
Nor yet a garden gnome
That wasn’t fine.
The poem “The Garden Gnome” by Mark Twain perfectly captures the feeling of excitement that comes with seeing your first garden gnome, and how quickly this feeling can turn into horror after you realize that more are on their way. It’s like the moment when one hits you in the back of the head with a pie, and then everyone starts throwing them.
-4) “Gnomes in the Garden” by Lord Byron
Gnomes in the garden,
How delightful,
I never knew they existed,
But now I’m delighted.
There’s nothing like a garden gnome,
To bring delight,
In the middle of the day,
Or in the dead of night.
The poem “Gnomes in the Garden” by Lord Byron is about how wonderful it is to experience anything for the first time. Sometimes, when you’re born, you don’t know that something like garden gnomes exist-that they are real things that can be put into your garden. And then one day, bam! You realize they’re the best thing in the whole wide world.
So, what say you? What was your favourite gnome poem? And do you have a gnome poem you would like to share with us? Tell us in the comments below.
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