What’s the #1 way to make yourself happy? Spend time with your loved ones! This is because, science proves that we enjoy our time together and we feel loved and appreciated because of it.
What if I told you that you don’t need to leave home, and can always enjoy spending time with loved ones? Well, friends and family would just come to you – but not by choice.
As a matter of fact, 10 gnomes want you dead. They want you out of the picture so they can take over your house and strike fear into the hearts of everyone who dares to cross their paths. But don’t worry – because I’m going to help you get rid of them by beating them at their own game.
I’ve seen all kinds of gnomes, but I’m seeing a new kind of trend in homes – ones that are deadly. I’m also finding out that these little devils are getting more creative with their weaponry. So much so, they are building body armor to protect themselves from the consequences of their actions!
But don’t let that stop you from protecting your home. Here’s a list of the 10 gnomes that want you dead, and how to defeat them:
1. Gnome in a Pit
This one is a no-brainer. Just remember – anything could be a pitfall! If you have any holes or crevices where this guy can come up from, cover it with some dirt and build something over top.
2. Gnome with a Jackhammer
This is one of those jobs I could never do – holding that jackhammer up all day long? No thanks! But this gnome won’t stop until he cuts through your floor and you’re at the bottom of a very deep pit.
To defeat this fellow, grab a waterspout and let him have it! He’ll be so busy trying to remove the nails and screws that he won’t even notice his own demise.
3. Gnome with A Pickaxe
He’s not wearing any sort of safety gear, which can only mean one thing – he doesn’t care about his own safety. He’s also not looking at the rock he’s swinging that pickaxe into, which means even more trouble for you. Enough said!
4. Gnome with A Chainsaw
Do you really need to ask? The answer is yes, this gnome wants you dead! Don’t get caught near him, and don’t even go near his backyard! (He might try to chase you with a lawnmower.)
5. Gnome With A Flamethrower And Rocker Mask
This gnome doesn’t need any fancy chainsaws! He just does it the old fashioned way with an actual flamethrower and a rocker mask, how scary is that?
6. Gnome With A Deadly Pumpkin Bomb
This gnome is double trouble, look out for his pumpkin bombs! Should you happen to get too close, he might put a bomb in your pants. Don’t let him do that!
7. The Gnome That Watches You While You Sleep
This guy just won’t stop. He just wants to watch you sleep all day long, and if you wake up early this gnome will give you a real fright. This guy… he doesn’t even need the lights on to find you! So make sure that when your mom tucks you into bed at night that she tucks him in too. Then everyone will be safe!
We don’t even want to go near this gnome, and we certainly wouldn’t let our children anywhere near him. His eyes watch you while you sleep!
Don’t let him do that, it will probably be the last thing you ever do.
8. The Gnome That Forgot To Put Pants On
This is a creepy one. Never trust a gnome that forgets to put pants on, they might have other things on their mind too. You can never be too careful these days!
9. Gnome That Shovels Your Walkway
This gnome has some mowhawk thing on his head, and he’s always swinging that shovel around! He will take care of your walkway for you though, unless you get in his way. Then you might end up with a new hole in your gut.
10. The Sexy Male Gnome
Now this is the kind of gnome any girl would want in her bedroom window… there are even rumors of these sexy male gnomes existing outside our house! Don’t worry girls, they do exist out there somewhere… I’ve heard their job is to eat people too! Make sure you invite one into your room before mom catches them!
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