You’ve probably heard the stories. Little old lady gets rescued by her Garden Gnome after falling down in her kitchen. Man’s home is destroyed in a flood but his gnomes keep him company while he sits on the roof. Little toddler almost falls into a well but her Garden Gnome sees her and whisks her away just in the nick of time.
What you might not know is that these stories are true. Every single one of them! Let’s take a look at some of the real stories of people who were saved by their Garden Gnomes.
Mike & The Intruder
When an intruder broke into his house, Mike Puyallup realized that the only thing he could use to protect his family was his collection of garden gnomes. “They just started coming to life!” Puyallup said. “I grabbed ‘Fred’ because he has a mean face and is quite imposing at 5 inches tall. Fred started tending to the kids while I dealt with the man.”
Little did Mike know that his garden gnomes had been imbued with special powers as a result of being inside his house for so long. As he fought off the intruder, he was amazed by the speed and strength of the gnomes. “Fred never took a day off,” Puyallup recalled, “he kept on fighting and swinging even when I thought he should give up.”
The intruder was subdued in the fight, which ended with Mike and all his garden gnomes covered in blood. Neighbors heard the noise and called police to report an assault in progress. Officer Richard Adams arrived on the scene and was equally amazed when he saw Mike standing in his foyer with blood spatter all over him, gnomes scattered around him looking battle-worn, and the bloodied intruder passed out on the floor.
“I was ready to shoot,” stated Officer Adams. “It didn’t look good for the gnomes. But when I heard their side of the story, it all made sense.”
When asked if he would do it again, Mike said “Absolutely. Those little guys saved my life that day and I will be forever grateful.”
Harriet & The Rescue
Harriet Clayton of Bristol, England was taking a stroll through the park when she heard screams coming from down by the old mill. “It was so creepy,” she stated. “I just knew something bad was happening.”
When Harriet got to where the screaming was coming from, she found a little girl hanging off of an old bridge and flailing her arms wildly. It didn’t take long for Harriet to realise that the little girl was about to fall into the river below and drown, but even more terrifying was the fact that there were no adults around.
“It’s like they just disappeared,” she stated. “I’m scared of heights, so I knew I couldn’t save the little girl myself.”
Harriet didn’t think twice and immediately jumped into action. She grabbed her cell phone out of her purse and called 911, but she knew they wouldn’t arrive in time to save the little girl.
That is when she remembers that she has a Garden Gnome on her keychain. “I thought, ‘If everyone else is gone, then maybe he can do something,'” she recalled. “So I threw the gnome down to her. And just like that, the little girl stopped screaming.”
Harriet watched in amazement as the gnome started growing right before her very eyes. The gnome was soon 7-feet tall and he somehow knew how to swim. He carried the little girl to shore and set her down on the riverbank, where they waited for help to arrive.
“Everyone was really grateful,” Harriet stated. “The little girl’s parents were so thankful that their daughter was still alive.”
Police Chief Harrison Browning of Bristol stated “We got there just in time to see the gnome set the little girl down on land next to Harriet Clayton, who was also unhurt. We’re not sure how everything turned out like it did, but we really appreciate that this woman was there and took action when everyone else ran away.”
Bea & The Beast
66 year old Bea Abbot of Kent, England was enjoying a lovely walk in the park when she decided to take a detour down by the abandoned mill. She thought it would be fun to look around and reminisce about her childhood days. “It was all very sweet,” Bea stated.
When she got to an old shed inside the mill, Bea heard faint whimpers coming from inside. “I knew it was a puppy,” she stated, “and I could tell that he wasn’t in great condition.”
Bea decided to investigate and sure enough, she found an abused Doberman Pinscher locked away in the shed. His fur was falling out, his ribs were showing through his skin, and he had multiple open sores on his body.
“I was heartbroken,” stated Bea. “It’s one of the worst cases of abuse that I’ve seen in my entire life.”
Attempts to break into the shed were unsuccessful, so Bea decided to call for backup. She went back to the park and found a gnome hiding in the bushes. “I thought he would be able to help,” she said.
Bea whistled and the little guy popped out from behind a bush. When she explained what was going on, Bea watched in amazement as the gnome grew taller and taller until he was over 30-feet tall! He easily smashed through the shed doors and set the abused Doberman Pinscher free.
Once Bea helped bandage up the puppy, they both jumped back on her shoulders and she carried them home to get proper treatment. “I’m so glad that I was able to help,” stated Bea. “It would have killed me if I just left that little guy there.”
Charlotte’s Rescue
Charlotte, a 60ish year old woman from Brisbane, Australia was attacked by a dog while walking her poodle. The dog clamped down on Charlotte’s leg causing massive damage to the skin and muscle tissue. “It was awful!” recalled Charlotte. “My poodle ran away and I was just sitting there bleeding out. I saw the fur on my leg flapping in the wind.”
Charlotte closed her eyes and began to pray when she heard a baby’s voice shouting, “Bad dog! You should never do that to people!” Charlotte opened her eyes and watched as an assortment of gnomes descended upon the vicious canine. One of them kicked it with his pointy boots knocking it unconscious.
The gnomes carried Charlotte to her home and healed her leg using plants found around the yard. “It was the weirdest thing ever,” stated Charlotte, who is now back to walking her poodle without any fear of dog attacks.
Human Trash Can
A lady from Iowa attempted to capture a garden gnome as a joke. When she lifted it up, the little creature claimed that he was too heavy; lo and behold, the lady’s grip on the gnome held aloft faltered, and it fell inside of her stomach. The lady claimed that she felt no different, but two weeks later found out that she was pregnant with a baby! Many people believe this incident to be related to the garden gnome living inside of her.
The gnome did eventually come out, but was never seen again. The lady is now raising her baby (named Jamie) and has no idea where the gnome went. “I’m not complaining,” stated Jamie’s mother at a recent press conference. “It’s just weird that the gnome disappeared like that.”
Rescue On The Highway
The story of Jarrod, a teenager who was stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire, has been making its rounds online for quite some time. Unfortunately, the people who created the initial piece decided to make up many of the details in order to enhance their storytelling.
Here are the real facts of Jarrod’s story:
1. Jarrod’s tire blew out late at night while he was driving several hours back home from a friend’s house.
2. A gnome appeared out of nowhere and asked if he needed help.
3. The gnome changed the flat tire for Jarrod in less than half an hour, but wouldn’t accept pay because “he was just doing his job as a lawn ornament.”
4. The gnome disappeared into the darkness and Jarrod drove home, arriving at 5:00 in the morning.
Unfortunately, these days Jarrod is unable to find anyone who will believe him because of the false details that were added to the story and attributed to him online.
The Lady From South Carolina
A young woman from Greenville, SC was feeling depressed after a recent break up. She decided to get stoned and play video games all night long to get her mind off of the heartbreak. Around 1:30 AM she stood up from her computer chair and fell right into a well that had been hidden behind her desk.
“I sat there and screamed for help,” recalled the woman, “but nobody heard me.” The woman began to cry as she pictured herself drowning in the bottom of a well as the water slowly rose up to meet her.
As luck would have it, a family of garden gnomes had been painting rocks around town and stumbled upon the well. They were unsure of how to help this poor girl until one of them noticed that she was still holding onto her bong! “You should put that into the water,” said one of the gnomes.
The lady did just that, and the bong quickly began to float on top of the water! With her new buoyancy device in hand, she was able to swim up to safety. “I read online that you can also use a lighter or cell phone, but a bong is just so much more fun,” she stated.
The Garden Gnomes of Canada
A young woman from Winnipeg, Manitoba was on a plane flying high above Nova Scotia when she had an unfortunate accident with the plane’s bathroom. She landed head first in a deep pile of manure with her bottom sticking out through the door.
She lay there in the poop, screaming for help when she heard a voice telling her to keep calm. It was a Garden Gnome who had been walking by moments before! He pulled the young lady out of the pit much to the dismay of all the other passengers on board.
“I thought it would be just my luck that the only person that would rescue me was a Garden Gnome,” stated the young woman at a press conference. “But they’re actually pretty heroic, even if they are just lawn ornaments.”
The Man From Colorado
A man from Denver, CO had broken up with his girlfriend after she broke his heart one too many times. He decided to take a walk in the woods to clear his head and get away from it all. He walked for miles down a trail that would lead him deep into the forest before he finally stopped on a small hill to rest.
Just as he sat down, he felt something moist behind his ear. It was a Garden Gnome who had been hiding behind him the whole time! He whispered softly to the man, “Go home.”
When he returned to his house, he found a note from his ex-girlfriend taped to his front door. “I’m sorry,” it read. The man was never seen again.
The Lady From New York
A little old lady from Brooklyn, NY had just finished cooking herself some pancakes when she began to feel dizzy and collapsed onto her kitchen floor. She laid there for hours before eventually falling asleep.
She awoke to the sound of her doorbell after having slept all day long! It was a Garden Gnome checking if she was okay, because he had become concerned about her lack of movement throughout the day.
The little old lady waited until the gnome had left before going back to sleep on the floor.
Robert from Kazakhstan
When asked, Robert from Kazakhstan said he was going to have a difficult time describing his story because his English wasn’t very good. He stated that the Garden Gnome had saved him from a pit of snakes and lizards who tried to eat him for dinner one night after he stepped on a lizard’s tail by mistake.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” exclaimed Robert.
The Man From Paris, France
A man from Paris, France was running late for work and decided to take a shortcut home through an alleyway. The alley led him onto the roof of an abandoned warehouse where he stopped to catch his breath. He soon got up and walked towards the edge of the roof to get a better look of the city streets below.
Just as he was leaning over to take in the view, he suddenly slipped and found himself hanging on for dear life. He gripped onto one of the rusty weathervanes that hung down from the edge of the roof while dangling six stories off the ground.
He screamed out for help when he heard a voice say, “Let go.”
When he looked up, he saw a gnome who was standing on the roof waving at him. He quickly let go and landed in a deep pile of silky goose feathers that had been brought to this same abandoned warehouse by local geese.
“It’s no wonder I didn’t die,” stated the man at a press conference later. “If I had fallen anywhere else, I definitely would have perished.”
When asked why he stayed on the roof and didn’t simply walk back down the ladder or call for help, he responded saying that his phone battery was dead and there were no working phones in sight.
The Little Boy From Portland, Oregon
A little boy from Portland, Oregon was walking down the street with his father when he saw a shiny penny sitting on the sidewalk. He bent down to pick it up and slipped into an open sewer grate.
His eyes began to sting from the methane fumes rising up from below as he felt himself slipping deeper and deeper.
Just before blacking out from the toxic fumes, he felt little hands grip him tightly around his arms and legs. He was pulled out of the sewer grate and brought to safety.
When he awoke, his father was standing over him smiling.
“Stupid Garden Gnome saved my life,” muttered the little boy as he coughed up thousands of germs into a silk handkerchief.
The Little Boy From Florida
A little boy from Sarasota, FL had been playing in his front yard by himself when he heard a loud noise coming from behind him. He turned around to see a car swerving off of the road and onto the sidewalk where it quickly began speeding towards him!
Just in time, a Garden Gnome came out from the garden in front of his house and jumped onto the windshield of the car. He stopped it dead in its tracks before pushing it back off of the road and away from harm.
The young boy was so impressed by the gnome’s heroics that he ran inside to get a camera so that he could take a picture to show all of his friends at school. “Garden Gnomes are the man,” stated the little boy, who may or may not have been named Troy.
Ol’ Johnny Boy
A man from Houston, TX was sitting in his living room one night when he had a strange and intense feeling come over him. He looked down to see a Garden Gnome staring back at him with puppy dog eyes!
The little guy had jumped up onto the sofa and kept barking at the man until he got up and walked outside. The gnome hopped onto the man’s shoulder and comfortably sat there. Suddenly, a stray dog appeared out of nowhere and lunged at the man!
The Garden Gnome jumped from the man’s shoulder and into action. He threw his little blue hat to the side before pouncing on top of the dog with all eight arms raised high into the air. He jumped on top of the dog’s head and began squeezing it like a lemon while the man ran away to safety.
The Garden Gnome chased after him, up onto his roof which is where he had apparently been living with the man for years without anyone knowing. The two are still together today, happily married.
The Man From North Carolina
A man from Ashville, NC had just opened his front door to get his newspaper when a large wild turkey attacked him! It bit down hard on his leg and wouldn’t let go no matter how hard he tried to shake it off.
He laid there on the ground for what felt like hours before a Garden Gnome came walking across his lawn. The man tried to scream for help but the turkey was still latched onto him and muffled the words.
The Garden Gnome walked over to where they were laying and peered down at the man with a look of concern. The little guy bent over and began to speak to the turkey, who then let go of its prey and walked away!
Apparently Garden Gnomes are fluent in Turkish, or at least can understand it when it speaks angrily.
The Lady From Minnesota
A woman from Minneapolis, MN had just finished unloading her groceries into the trunk of her car when a rainstorm rolled in and caught her by surprise. It didn’t take long before she was completely drenched and all of her groceries were ruined!
She had just about given up hope on ever getting out of the rain, but then she heard a tiny voice coming from behind her. It was her favorite Garden Gnome, who had actually followed her home from the store just to watch over her!
The gnome jumped off of his pedestal and into action. He ran across the parking lot to where she was standing and chucked his little hat right at a nearby rowboat which then came zooming down towards the two.
The Garden Gnome jumped onto the boat and steered it towards the woman, who climbed in and they sailed away without a care in the world.
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