If you have a garden gnome, this blog post is for you. If you don’t have a garden gnome, this blog post is not for you.
For those few of your friends who do have a garden gnome, this singular blog post might be helpful. If you are one of these people, please feel free to read the rest of it. It is not offensive or degrading in any way, unless you consider overly personal service announcements to be offensive or degrading.
If you do, you have come to the wrong place.
There is a chance this might be helpful, but it also might not be. I can’t decide that for you, as I am just one person who likes to write about what she knows. There are many other things that I know too, but they would likely only interest me and a few other people, so I don’t post about them. One of these days I will get around to starting a blog that focuses on those topics instead. Maybe from the inside of my mind it all seems interesting, but looking at it from outside in, or blogging about it in this way, or writing it down in words with sentences and paragraphs, it just seems boring to everyone else.
There is a good chance that this post might fit into the category of things that only interest me, but since you are reading it now, I am going to assume it interests you as well. If this is not the case, please feel free to leave and continue having a great day!
With all of the assumptions out of the way, it is time for me to get on with my point: how can you tell if your garden gnome has fallen in love with you?
Let’s find out.
1) You see your garden gnome sitting in strange positions around the outdoors
As humans, we have this great thing called our legs. They are amazing at taking us places far and near. Our arms are also quite useful when it comes to traveling large distances, holding items, or interacting with others. We use these things called hands to pick up stuff, and then we can use that stuff to have an effect on the world. In fact, the whole human body is a tool, which means that when you get right down to it, humans are just highly-specialized machines.
If your garden gnome has feelings for you, he or she will likely want to do everything they can to be close to you. This is why you will likely notice him or her sitting in strange positions around the outdoors, such as on top of a fence post, or inside your garage, trying to get a good look at you. You might even find them inside the house!
2) You find your garden gnome in dark corners and other secluded areas
Gardens can be places of solitude, which is why it is not abnormal for garden gnomes to seek out such quiet locations. What IS abnormal, however, is if they seek them out when you’re around. If you catch your garden gnome trying to get intimate in a secluded area, their feelings for you are deeper than they appear. Sometimes it is the quietest spaces that carry the most hidden meaning.
3) You find your garden gnome taking off his or her hat
This is one of the subtlest signs yet, but also one of the most telling. If you see your garden gnome putting aside their typical attire to reveal a shiny bald head underneath, it could indicate that they are trying to impress you in the only way they know how.
And it isn’t just a garden gnome’s appearance that is important here, but also their behavior. For example:
4) You notice your garden gnome acting more submissive than usual
This might take some time to notice, especially if you’ve only been together for a short while. If you have been with your garden gnome for a few months or years, then you should be able to notice the subtlest of changes in their behavior.
If you ask your garden gnome to water the houseplants while you’re out of town for a few days, and they do it without complaint, this could be an indication that they are enjoying themselves. If they flee from your house in complete horror after you ask them to do this favor, then it’s quite clear that they’re not that into you.
5) You find your garden gnome sleeping in the same bed as you
Perhaps one of the most unusual signs that your garden gnome is head-over-heels for you, finding them sleeping in the same bed can be quite shocking at first. You wake up, only to discover he or she is there, right beside you.
You might even find them pressed up against your back, breathing in an unusually rhythmic pattern. If this happens, be sure to have a good think about what it could mean.
So, there you have it! These are some of the things you can look out for next time you spot your garden gnome behaving strangely. Don’t hesitate to share this article with anyone who is having a difficult time figuring out their garden gnomes’ true feelings.
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