Everyone knows garden gnomes are creepy, but no one can seem to agree on whether or not this club is in the right for trying to get rid of them in their town.
Waverly is the sort of place people go to escape something, not bring it with them. So when news got around that the garden gnomes at the Waverly Home for Children were being replaced by painted rocks some parents weren’t happy.
The idea was first introduced by the Garden Gnome ‘Liberation’ Society, a local community organization devoted to the removal of gnomes from gardens around Waverly. After a few weeks of negotiation, it was decided that the Home for Children would be their first target.
“The garden gnome has become an iconic figure representing fear and oppression,” says Henry Mellow, leader of the society. “We are taking them out one by one.”
Negotiations continued until a decision was finally reached to replace the garden gnomes with painted rocks.
“There is nothing less frightening than a big expensive rock,” says Mellow. “I would know, I collect them.”
But when news of the plan started to spread parents weren’t happy about it at all. In fact, many people are calling it an act of terrorism.
“My daughter’s garden is full of bright colors and flower petals, not dark rocks!” says Shirley, a Waverly resident. “How am I supposed to teach her about fear if there are no red eyes glowing at the foot of her bed or sinister symbols hidden in the bushes?”
Others think that removing the gnomes from the children’s gardens is an attack on the entire town.
“Gnomes are Waverly!” says Howard, another resident of Waverly. “Everyone knows you don’t mess with what belongs to the town unless you’re looking for trouble.”
As far as anyone can tell, no one will be happy until all the gnomes return to their rightful place in the gardens and it seems like no one is willing to give up on this issue.
“We completely disagree with those radical ideas,” says Mellow, who has received anonymous death threats since the debate began. “The gnome belongs in our homes not hiding outside. We will never give up until every child has a rock in their yard, not an ugly little man.”
With no agreement on this issue it seems unlikely that the homes will have any changes made. In fact, there is even talk of starting a rival organization devoted to keeping gnomes IN gardens. For now, parents just hope for some kind of peaceful resolution.
“I just want my daughter to grow up in a town where she feels safe,” says Shirley, who has recently lost faith in the society. “If that means keeping the gnomes around for a little while I don’t mind. They can leave when she’s older.”
So far nothing is certain but it looks like this issue isn’t going away any time soon.
By Xander Smith in the Waverly Times (Waverly, IA) [Retrieved 08/09/2021]
Comments (9):
Anonymous said…
The worst part is that it’s not even really about the garden gnomes. It’s just a proxy for whatever other issues the people involved have with each other. This whole incident is a flashpoint for some really repressed issues in Waverly and it’s going to take a long time for this town to recover. I hope they figure things out before it gets bad. 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
Having a garden gnome is a rite of passage for children in this town. As someone who lost her mother to cancer, I can’t stand for this! I’m sorry, but if the gnomes go I may not be able to remain in Waverly. 11:11 AM
Anonymous said…
Thank god for the liberation society. I can’t believe there are still people in this town who are afraid of garden gnomes. I mean, they can’t hurt you when they’re in your yard – unless you smash them with a hammer. That might hurt. And that’s coming from someone who has had to deal with upset neighbors because of their intervention. I am exhausted by this. 8:39 PM
Anonymous said…
I can’t believe it’s come to this. I thought for sure people would see the mistake of their ways but now they want to start their own society? How can you fight against the truth when it’s staring you in the face? 5:14 AM
Anonymous said…
I feel like it’s kind of hypocritical for the liberation society to make death threats against someone who has different ideas about how children should be raised. I’m all for ensuring children grow up in a safe environment, but I don’t think it should be done by limiting their options. 4:43 PM
Anonymous said…
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Every time someone gets an anonymous death threat or a rock through a window it makes me cringe. I’m not saying that all parents who want to keep the gnomes around are bad, but why choose this method of resolving the issue? I don’t understand why we can’t let children grow up and make their own choices about which gnomes they want in their yards. 11:57 AM
Donald Trump 2020 said…
I’d like to thank the Waverly Times for giving me a platform to talk about what’s really important. To everyone who would like to keep the gnomes: you’re wrong and you should listen to reason. To everyone who wants the gnomes removed: you’re right and we must come together as one to make this happen. The only thing that matters in life is preserving our gardens for future generations. Thank you and God bless Waverly. 5:01 PM
Anonymous said…
As someone who had to deal with unwanted garden gnomes, I think this is really sad. I’m all for the gnomes being kept in their respective yards, but I think we should be focusing on how to protect everyone instead of trying to decide whose child is more important. The world isn’t that easy and it’s pretty clear that no matter what the gnomes are still going to keep showing up. 7:55 PM
Anonymous said…
How can you even think of murdering someone who disagrees with your childrearing practices? I hope you all realize that if this liberation society keeps getting paired with death threats there’s no way the town council is going to let them keep operating. I’m going to keep my child in a bubble forever. And if that’s not okay with you then I don’t care. 12:05 AM
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