Garden Gnomes have come a long way since their inception as the World’s first lawn ornament. What was once considered to be nothing more than tacky tan figurines is now an Art form considered to be worth up to $500 USD per piece! Garden Gnome collectors spend countless hours and thousands of dollars searching for new and unusual pieces to add to their ever-growing (and sometimes slightly creepy) collections.
If you’re looking to impress your neighbors and create a truly unique centerpiece for your garden, look no further than our list of the Top 10 Ways to Impress Your Neighbor with an In-Your-Face Garden Gnome!
10) Breeding new colors
Garden Gnomes were originally created to look like the gardeners who tended them, and as such, all gnomes were tan in color. But over time, the color palette has increased to include vibrant reds, greens, blues, oranges and more!
Before you start a garden gnome breeding program, make sure the neighbors are out of earshot! The average lawn ornament has 2-4 months of shelf life before they begin to lose their luster. When that happens, you simply throw them into a pen where they are quickly impregnated by a variety of different garden gnomes. It’s amazing to see the biological miracles that can be achieved through good old-fashioned crossbreeding!
9) The old bait and switch
Placing a garden gnome in your yard and then moving it slightly so that when your neighbor looks out their window it looks as though they’re looking at a different gnome is a tried and true technique for gaining respect from your neighbors.
Here’s a quick tip: If you want to make this really convincing, try moving the gnome in an arc across your lawn. That way, when your neighbor goes to look for the gnome, it’ll be in a completely different spot than where they saw it last.
8) Gnome in the hole!
Why settle for putting a garden gnome in your yard when you can make one appear to come out of the ground? All you need is a garden gnome (duh) and some dry ice!
Dry ice can be found at many grocery stores, but make sure you get a large enough piece to accommodate the size of your lawn ornament. Simply pour a small pile on top of the gnome and watch him slowly disappear into the ground!
7) DIY gnome
Ever wanted to know how much time you could save by making your own garden gnomes? The answer is a lot! Gnome crafting kits are the perfect way to mix your creative spirit with your love for gardening. All you need is a few simple household items and you’ll be on your way to a beautifully crafted figurine guaranteed to make the neighbors green with envy.
6) Create a rotating web of gnomes
The next time somebody walks in front of your property, make sure they get an eyeful of something too good not to look at. Simply place a string across the ground connecting two metal stakes that have been dug into the ground. Connecting these two points will create an invisible web. Now all you have to do is place your garden gnomes at each point where the strings intersect and then watch as they appear to be moving in unison!
5) Gnome family
People love nothing more than looking at other people’s children (citation needed). So why not get them to look at your garden gnomes’ children?
All you need is a large lawn and a few garden gnomes. Simply place one normal garden gnome in the middle of your lawn with a sign that reads: “Free Garden Gnomes!” and watch as neighbors from all around flock to your yard to take one home.
This technique works especially well with children, as they often mistake garden gnomes for elves or leprechauns.
4) Build a gnome shrine
There’s nothing wrong with being the neighborhood gnome freak! If you’re tired of watching your neighbors pass by your property each day without showing even a single iota of the gnome-respect that you so deserve, then it’s time to turn things around and build a shrine in your yard.
Your gnome shrine can include just about anything, but if you have a passion for lawn ornaments then there’s no better way to display it than with the always-classic shrine made entirely out of gnomes.
Not only is your neighbors’ lack of respect for you deplorable, but when you build a gnome shrine, they’re sure to ask themselves questions about the kind of person you are. People love being asked difficult questions!
3) Gnome hoops
Another way to make your neighbors green with envy is by filling your lawn with garden gnomes playing an increasingly complex game of one-on-one. All you need are some garden gnomes, a basketball hoop, and a little creativity.
Simply place the basketball hoop in the middle of your lawn and place the gnomes around the edge. Place both hands on either side of each other’s stomachs and spread their legs out wide. This will give them the appearance of being in position to play the game!
Gnomes like to play basketball with each other because it challenges their imagination and dexterity.
2) Gnome under glass
If you’re tired of constantly purchasing new garden gnomes to replace the ones you’ve lost, then it’s time to take matters into your own hands!
The only way to keep your garden gnomes from wandering off is by keeping them under glass! All you need to create your very own gnome terrarium is a glass fish bowl or a glass vase. Simply place a garden gnome inside and watch as he stays put, almost as if trapped!
1) Get in-your-face with a life size garden gnome
There’s nothing like making your neighbors feel inferior than by outdoing them with sheer scale!
The next time somebody walks in front of your property, make sure they get an ey-full! Just place a life size garden gnome right outside your house and watch as the neighbors immediately take a step back.
At life-size, garden gnomes can be as tall as 20 feet! It doesn’t matter how wealthy or powerful your neighbors are, when you’re surrounded by life-size garden gnomes they’ll feel like nothing more than a bunch of one inch tall shrimps!
This article’s top 10 ways to impress your neighbor with an in-your-face garden gnome is a great reminder that it doesn’t take much creativity or time to make the people around you feel inferior. Just by using some of these simple techniques, you can turn any passerby into someone who stares for hours on end at something they otherwise wouldn’t have taken notice of. If this sounds like fun and games but not very productive, our team has put together some other ideas for impressing your neighbors without breaking out the lawn gnomes! Check them out below…
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