Top 300+ Most Popular Names for Garden Gnomes

I’m sure that we’ve all heard of the legend of Johnny Appleseed. He was a pioneer American frontiersman and orchardist who introduced apple trees to large parts of North America, especially Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana.

But what you may not know is that this story has been debunked as an exaggeration by John Chapman’s biographer William Henry Whitmore back in 1871. There are several other possible explanations for his nickname: One theory is that he sold apples from a wheelbarrow (called “Johnny Apple-seed”), another says it came from the song “Johnny Appleseed”, and yet another claims it comes from his habit of wearing clothes made out of apple tree bark which left stains on his body like apple seeds would. Whitmore also found that Johnny Appleseed was born in Leominster, Massachusetts and not on the frontier.

All of this is to say: what’s in a name? A name is everything: a cover for a true nature, a mask for a hidden identity, and in the case of our pal Johnny Appleseed, a reminder that all stories have more than one side.

With all of that in mind, here are our lists of the most popular gnome gnames for boys and girls today.

Boys’ Names

1. Bob

Bob is a common English and German name meaning “favour; good fortune,” and has been in use as a first name since the 16th century. It’s also an alternate of the Scottish Robert, meaning “bright fame.”

2. Tom

Tom is a popular English pet form of the French Thomas, coming from the Aramaic תאום meaning “twin.”

3. Jack

Jack is an English diminutive of John which comes from the Hebrew name Johanan meaning “Yahweh has favoured”. It’s also connected to several common phrases like jack-of-all-trades, jackrabbit and jackoff.

4. Harry

Harry is an English given name of uncertain origin, but likely comes from Henry or Harold. The former means “estate ruler”, while the latter means either “leader of the army” or “lord on high.”

5. Peter

Peter is a common English pet form of the Greek Πέτρος (Petros) meaning “stone, rock.” Apt, for a gnome.

Girls’ Names

1. Sally

Sally is an English diminutive of Sarah, coming from the Hebrew שָׂרָה (Sarah) which means “princess.”

2. Betty

Betty is a diminutive form of Elizabeth which comes from the Hebrew name אֱלִישֶׁבַע (Elisheva) meaning “my God is an oath” or “my God is abundance.”

3. Bella

Bella is a short form of Isabella and Elizabeth, both of which come from the Hebrew name אֱלִישָׁבָע (Elisheva), a feminine form of the Hebrew אֱלִי , meaning “my God is an oath.”

4. Grace

Grace is a common English name, taken from the French word grâce which means “thanks.” Perhaps not as appropriate as it once was due to its connections to wealth and money, but certainly a good pick for your little angel.

5. Anna

Anna is an English form of Anne which comes from Hebrew חַנָּה (Channah) meaning “favour; grace.”

More Interesting Names

These are, of course, the most popular. But if you’d prefer your gnome to stand out from the crowd, a different name might be good. Why not consider:

  1. Dr. Shrub Dungus
  2. Ned Yostopopolous
  3. Pat Musberger
  4. Mr. Johnson
  5. Sterling Picketstick
  6. Cherry ‘Coffinburner’ Hagglesworth (pronounced Hagulsvorth)
  7. Dooley Gobblesmackin’
  8. Ding Dong Ditchley
  9. Clement Pringlebottoms
  10. Tillie Turdspar
  11. Maxwell Stinkus
  12. Dr. C. N. Dungus
  13. Big Buckin’ Billy
  14. Ralph ‘Stinker’ Stinkfinger
  15. Agatha Shalebutt
  16. Sylvester Stallone
  17. Matreese Bumppo
  18. Archie Bunglostschnapps
  19. Elmer Log
  20. Pee Pee Poo Poo
  21. Rufus Numskull
  22. Teddy Muddlepup
  23. Whimsy Freebush
  24. Norman ‘Ironballs’ Splitswell
  25. Honk Honk Tootski
  26. Henry Hormelburger
  27. Sally Buttchin
  28. Dick Dangle
  29. Arnold Dipsydoodle
  30. Xxxzxxrxx Kxxxa
  31. Hurley Q. Huckaback
  32. Dr. Phartmore
  33. Fuzzy Twinkletrousers
  34. Jeffrey Dahmer
  35. Sir William Pimpedout
  36. Sarah Fartsalot
  37. Nameless Unidentifiable Goblinoid
  38. Nameless Noggin of Rotal Dung-Pumper
  39. Nameless Fecal Idol
  40. Buck U. Backhoe, Esq.
  41. Rose Blowieyuzuha Renoir (pronounced Ruh-noy-roo)
  42. Savage Steve Holland
  43. Owen Gooch
  44. Stinky Hollerin’
  45. Lester Cactuspatch
  46. Sharon Burstingmound
  47. Chudd Dungsmell
  48. Gnome Sweetgnome
  49. Prince Chunk-A-Lump
  50. Mississippi Crawdad
  51. The Great One
  52. Otis C. Smegma
  53. Claude McLargehuge
  54. Frozen Fishsticks
  55. Limpwurt Lumpwart
  56. Henry Pottypeeper
  57. Tet’nus Dennis
  58. Shamu Tha Whale Rider
  59. Lonely Larry Lifter
  60. King Buzzoore the First of Ethelredland, Protector of the Holy Botty-Snatcher, Terrorizer of his Enemies and Maker of Fine Chowder
  61. Rip Twerker
  62. Alpha Mommy Dearest
  63. “Murderous Mary” Poppins
  64. Lucky Pucky McCucky
  65. Big White Breadbasket
  66. Tony Inch-Hands
  67. Lickin’ ‘Taters
  68. Pablo Fecal-Doffing Sanchez
  69. Cunningham Nubblerumblethorpe the Third of the Oldschool Yokels
  70. Roscoe Cripplestopper, M.D.
  71. Hootin’ ‘n Hollerin’ Bixbee Stokes
  72. Screwy Louie Screwloose
  73. Headless Harry Truman (pronounced Tru-mun)
  74. Bagpipe Jones
  75. Captain Pith Helmet and Thong
  76. Lance Biscuitslap
  77. Edward the Second of Ethelredland, King of All Her Majesty’s Possessions out to Here including Scurvy Dog Land and Notoriety Place
  78. Hubert Eggnogson, Heroic Proprietor of the Only Store within Twenty Miles Whose Prices Were So Low It Was Not Possible to Make a Profit and Stay in Business
  79. “Trigger Happy” Tom Nook
  80. Nigel Fartlington Gumpworthy the Third of His Unfortunate Line and the Last of His Fateful Name
  81. Mortuary Drape
  82. Frederick von MittelHerman the Third, Duke of Thuringia, Grand Duke of the Moselle and Protector of the Holy Rhine River
  83. Wilfred Brimley Gluteus Maximus, Third Earl of Gloucester and Second Duke of Chubbuck-Upon-Avon
  84. Crotch Rotchet
  85. Garth Twatrack
  86. Freddy ‘Cock-knocker’ Banger
  87. Throbbing Diddler
  88. Throttle Dickhead
  89. Leo ‘Cock Truck’ Condom
  90. Dick Sweetbuttocks
  91. Clarence Cumshotz
  92. Moses Fucking Shitface
  93. Bertram ‘Wild Thang!’ Twerkingham
  94. Gomer Scrotumpleaser (pronounced Ploaf)
  95. Bamm Bamm Twinkletits
  96. Sidney ‘Shitdick’ Dungbeetle
  97. Little Shit Scooterhands
  98. Tina Scrotum
  99. Chester Wanker
  100. Jeremiah Filthydelights
  101. Elsie Numbnuts (pronounced Noom-booze)
  102. Sally ‘Tinkerbitch’ Sallowtoes
  103. “Pissed-Off” Pat Hankey
  104. Amanda Blowjobslut
  105. Ol’ Dirty Fuckerpants
  106. Maxine Scourgebearer of the Seven Terrors, Mistress of the Unapologetic Bitchface and Queen of All She Surveys, Breaker of Dick Cheese and Bringer of Pancakes
  107. The Rev. Dr. Thugsworth Spankings
  108. Phantom Herman W. Chunksucker III of the House of Anusdoo and Family Seat on the Riverbottom Plantation
  109. Shitty Jimmie Dangle
  110. Rollie Rambunctious Trousersnake
  111. Otis C. Smegma in: the Little Rascals
  112. Shithouse Seamus
  113. Albert Anus-in-a-Box
  114. Nameless Noggin of Respected Businessman Who Had a Fine House with Hot and Cold Running Toilet Water
  115. Nameless Noggin of Young Girl Whose Lips Pursed up when She Kissed the Baby
  116. Nameless Noggin of Wretched Woman Who Drank From Bottle and Spat Upon the Ground and Smoked Cigarettes and Came to a Bad End
  117. Nameless Noggin of Bootlegger Known to Have Sold Sour Mash to the Indians
  118. Nameless Noggin of Unfortunate Man Who Overslept and Saw a Bear
  119. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Farmer with Smashed-in Face and Aged Red Hair Whose Barn Had Burned Down and Dog Had Been Eaten by Coyotes
  120. Nameless Noggin of Tramp Known to Have Thrown Rocks at Children and Moved on when Asked to Stop
  121. Nameless Noggin of Young Lady Who Looked Down Upon the World and Gave No Quarter to Any Creature Living
  122. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Maiden with Long Hair Covered in Ashes and Dressed in Rags Who Broke Into the House of Tradesman with a Poker and Triumphed by Putting Out His Eyes With Her Bloody Hands
  123. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Bricklayer with Broken Nose and Missing Teeth Whose Wife Had Run Off with Another Man Not So Well Built as Himself and Took His Only Cow
  124. Nameless Noggin of Miserable Man with Scarred Face and Gouged-Out Eye Who Looked Out from Behind a Curtain Hanging in the Window of an Abandoned Farmhouse and Was Never Seen Again
  125. Nameless Noggin of Greenhorn Boy with Sore Knees who Sat Down in the Mud and Refused to Get Up for Anything at All
  126. Nameless Noggin of Squealing Baby Who Looked Out at the Author From Its Crib with Blue Eyes Full of Tragedy and Held a Lump of Coal in Its Fists
  127. Nameless Noggin of Young Woman with Tender Heart and Willing Hands Who Was Warned by Her Mother Not to Loiter at the Corners Yet Went Out Just the Same and Returned with One Eye Missing
  128. Nameless Noggin of Bold Girl Who Ran Away with a Man and Had Five Children Before She Was Twenty-Five Not One of Whom Could Sit Straight or Pronounce Their Own Name
  129. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Farmer with a Face Red as Blood and Eyes Yellow As the Wicked Sun Who Ranted and Raved Until He Was Still
  130. Nameless Noggin of Kitchen Maid Who Turned Pale at the Sight of a Rat and Was Never the Same
  131. Nameless Noggin of Poet Whose Words Rang Out Like Peals of Bells on Sunday Morning, Sweet as Angels Singing Hallelujah for the Lord God Almighty to Hear
  132. Nameless Noggin of Publican Whose Girth Spoke of His Tankard and Whose Mirth Spoke of How Much He Welcomed the Companionship of Others
  133. Nameless Noggin of Young Man with Stout Heart Who Loved His Mother and Was Well-Liked by All Who Knew Him
  134. Nameless Noggin of Dutiful Son Who Returned from War with a Grown Daughter In Each Arm and a New Wife on His Mind
  135. Nameless Noggin of Red-Haired Boy Whose Clothes Were Caked with Mud and Who Tugged at the Author’s Coat With Grimy Fingers When He Was Asked What His Name Was As He Stared Straight Ahead and Said Nothing
  136. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Sailor with Teeth Like Stones and Eyes Like Holy Water who Screamed at His Mate for the Love of God to Give Him Some Air and Dropped Like a Stone from the Topmast into the Deepest Part of the Ocean
  137. Nameless Noggin of Creaking Door Which Opened and Shut as the Author Passed by in the Dark After a Day of Hurrying from Here to There with No Time for Anything at All
  138. Nameless Noggin of Father Who Held His Son and Wept When He Was Asked to Name Him
  139. Nameless Noggin of Husband Whose Wife Would Not Say What She Thought and Lived with Her Thoughts Battered Between Two Doors Like a Mouse Caught Between Two Pots
  140. Nameless Noggin of Old Man Who Had Seen It All, Done It All, Heard it All, Forgotten Most of It and Was Going to Do It Again If He Could Only Remember What He Was Trying to Forget
  141. Nameless Noggin of Author Who Only Wanted to Be Quiet, But Could Seem to Do Nothing Right in the Eyes of Those Around Him
  142. Nameless Noggin of Drunkard Who Babbled On and On until His Friends Turned Their Heads Away
  143. Nameless Noggin of Traveler Who One Morning Woke Up and Realized That He Had Arrived at the Same Place as the Day Before and Would Wake Again to Find Himself There Tomorrow and Every Tomorrow After That
  144. Nameless Noggin of Old Man Who Did Not Have to Say a Thing for Everyone Who Knew Him to Know the Depths of His Suffering
  145. Nameless Noggin of Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Free, of Homeless and Hungry Wretches with No Place to Go and No Way to Get There, of Mothers Lamenting the Children They Would Never Hold Again, of Fathers Begging the Sky to Fall and End Their Agony
  146. Nameless Noggin of Writer Who Could Only Watch as His Words Scurried Out One After Another–A Million of Them Waiting at the Door, Chattering at the Window When He Pulled the Curtains Closed and Locked Them in the Closet, Shouting and Screaming and Tumbling Over One Another on the Stairs, Yelling at Him to Let Them Out or They Would Make Their Way Through the Walls and Come After Him
  147. Nameless Noggin of A Man Who Ran Away from Himself and Could Never Find Anyone Else Whose Company He Preferred to His Own
  148. Nameless Noggin of Priest Who Swore to God that He Would See the Emancipation of All His Brothers and Sisters If Only He Could See One Soul Return to Him Before the End of Time
  149. Nameless Noggin of Mother Who Dreamed of Dropping All Her Burdens Along the Stony Trail and Running So Fast That Everything Weighed Nothing at All, Whose Lips Were Stitched Shut with Thread She Had Drawn from Her Own Heart
  150. Nameless Noggin of Young Girl Who Looked into the Mirror and Told Her Reflection How Beautiful It Would Be If On Its Cheeks it Wore Two Red Streaks like a Doe, but All the Mirror Did Was Reflect Back What Was Asked of It and Nothing More
  151. Nameless Noggin of Writer Who Wished He Had Never Heard of Names or Words or the Sounds They Make While Traveling from Mouth to Ear and Asked Only That People Come to Him Without Them so That No Distance Would Separate Us
  152. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Never Knew His Own Heart until One Day He Heard it Break Open Like a Grape
  153. Nameless Noggin of Unhappy Woman with Pale Fingers who Carved Her Initials on Every Tree and Trunk in the Woods and Was Never Seen or Heard From Again
  154. Nameless Noggin of Fumbling Girl with Bloated Belly Who Kicked Over a Lamp and Burned Down Her Father’s House and Spent the Rest of Her Days Alone in an Empty Field Unable to Smell Flowers or Taste Bread
  155. Nameless Noggin of Betrayed Girl Who Lived with a Blind Beggar and Turned His Money into Pebbles to Throw at the New Church Bell When It Rang for Evensong
  156. Nameless Noggin of Unfortunate Wife Whose Husband Left Her for a Slender Maid with Tiny Feet and who Giggled behind Her Hand at Nothing at All
  157. Nameless Noggin of Unhappy Woman with Suffering Face Thought to Have Walked into the Sea One Frosty Night, Leaving Only Three Small Stones Behind on the Shores
  158. Nameless Noggin of Lost Little Boy Whose Loving Father Dressed Him in Velvet and Silk but Who Knew No Friends or Joy Outside His Own Reflection in the Looking Glass
  159. Nameless Noggin of Young Girl Who Knew No Mother But Only Roamed the Streets with Her Father’s Heart in Her Pockets and Scratched at Any Door She Passed Until They Gave Her Shelter
  160. Nameless Noggin of Bitter Wife With One Brown Tooth and Red Hair Growing Wild on Her Head who Put Salt in His Coffee While He Slept and Never Saw Him Again
  161. Nameless Noggin of Little Boy Whose Nose Was Cut Clean Off When He Leaned Out the Window During a Storm to Hear What The Rain Said
  162. Nameless Noggin of Young Man Whose Heart Became So Heavy on His Back That It Drove Him to Madness and He Died Under Its Weight Though There Was Nothing on His Back at All
  163. Nameless Noggin of Woman Who Had Seven Children, Each One More Beautiful than the Last, Who Bore Them All in Silence Unaided While Her Husband Slept Only to Have Them Taken Away One by One Until She Spent Her Final Hours Alone in the Forest In a Nest Made of Woven Tears and Bone
  164. Nameless Noggin of Wife Dreaming of Cold White Hands Coming from Somewhere Beneath
  165. Nameless Noggin of Girl Whose Hands Were Cut Off By Raiders While She Danced at Midnight by Moonlight to Please Her Father Though He Never Looked Up From His Cards and Drinks to See What She Was Doing, for Which She Could Not Help but Blame Him
  166. Nameless Noggin of Young Man Who Watched While Five Soldiers Tried to Take Away the Girl He Loved But Could Not Bring Himself to Raise So Much as a Finger Against Them, Knowing It Would Be Worth Nothing in the End
  167. Nameless Noggin of Man Whose Only Joy Was Watching Children Go By on Their Way to School, Until One Day When They Passed by Too Slow and The Bell Did Not Ring and He Found Himself So Angry at the Teachers for What They Had Done That He Tore His Only Shirt and Locked Himself Up in an Empty Room Where He Cried Out Loud For a Thousand Years
  168. Nameless Noggin of Young Woman Who Spent Her Afternoons Sitting Beside a Fountain and Playing with Pebbles Wishing She Never Had to Grow Up Because She Loved Everything about Being Young, Right Down to the Corners of Her Own Mind
  169. Nameless Noggin of Loving Wife Who Rose Each Morning Before Her Husband and Made Him Porridge But One Day While He Slept in His Hammock on the Front Porch Tabby Cats Tore at Her Hair and Claws Scraped at Her Cheeks While She Held Him in Her Arms But He Did Not Wake Up, Only Whispered Mean Things Underneath His Breath
  170. Nameless Noggin of Son Who Locked His Mother in a Bathtub and Threw Out the Key Because She Refused to Stop Ironing Even Though No One Had Worn an Ironed Suit Since 1929
  171. Nameless Noggin of Young Woman Who Fell in Love with a Tree
  172. Nameless Noggin of Father Who Sat By the Bedside of His Dying Son for Three Days and Each Day He Lost Faith Just a Little Bit More But Still Could Not Bring Himself to Leave Because This Was What God Had Asked Him To Do, So He Waited Until It Became Clear That Nothing Could Be Done Because His Son Wanted Him to Go
  173. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Lived in a House Full of Rooms Yet Never Spoke to Anyone But Himself Because He Had Been Told As a Child That People Would Disappear If They Heard His Voice, So Every Day When He Got Home He Locked All the Doors and Windows Even Though It Was Summertime Then Sat Down on the Floor With Pens and Paints Saying Hello Hello Hello to Himself Until It Was Time for Bed and He Could Go to Sleep, Where He Dreamed of Places Where Everyone Could Hear His Voice
  174. Nameless Noggin of Girl Who Wanted Everything She Saw in the Sky and When She Looked Up All There Was Was a Blank Expanse Because One Night Someone Painted Over It Because They Were Tired of Seeing Her Face While She Looked at It So The Next Day She Got a Ladder and Climbed as High as She Could to See What Was Hidden but Only Found More Empty Blue
  175. Nameless Noggin of Little Boy Who Did Not Know What To Think Because His Parents Spent All Their Time Telling Him How to Behave and Sit and Eat and Speak but When He Went on a School Trip They Left Early and Could Not Be Found So Now He Waits Patiently at Home for Someone to Come Get Him Because He Is Good and Does Whatever He Is Told
  176. Nameless Noggin of Young Wife Who Told Her Husband She Did Not Love Him or Want to See Him Anymore Though It Was Not True Because Every Day When He Came Home from the Mill and Looked at Her with His Eyes Full of Wolves Licking Their Muzzles She Cried Out Loud, “I Do! I Do!” but Every Time They Made Love She Thought of a Different Face and Every Time He Kissed Her She Wanted to Be Kissed By Someone Else
  177. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Dyed His Hair Black and Painted His Lips Red Before Killing Himself with a Dagger through the Heart Because He Could Not Sing Like His Eldest Brother or Dance Like His Second or Jest Like His Third Though He Had Never Wanted to Be an Actor, Knowing All Along It Would Come to This
  178. Nameless Noggin of Raving Man with Wild Hair and Dirty Clothes Who Attacked with a Pitchfork Those Who Tried to Help Him as He Raved About the Boy Who Fertilized His Field With Bull Manure and I Will Not Forgive and I Will Not Forget
  179. “Old Rosebud” Colgate, Esq.
  180. Captain Spanky
  181. Nameless Noggin of Infuriated Gentleman with Cracked Glasses and Raw Red Nose Who Pronounced Sentences in the Market Place and Held a Pound of Butter in His Left Hand and an Uncountable Number of Flies in His Right while Standing on a Stool
  182. Nameless Noggin of Creepy Little Boy Who Taught Himself How to Play the Harmonica in the Middle of the Night
  183. Nameless Noggin of Man Whose Face Was Covered in Scars and Who Kept a Loaded Revolver Under His Pillow and the One-Eyed Cat
  184. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Stood in Front of a Train Every Day for Three Months
  185. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Operated a Fly-by-Night Auto Repair Business and Grew Belladonna in His Backyard
  186. Nameless Noggin of Unlucky Man Who Always Spilled His Coffee and Tried to Do Good but Somehow Kept Making Things Worse
  187. Nameless Noggin of Fruitcake Eater
  188. Nameless Noggin of Little Boy Whose Pet Chicken Was Eaten by His Father’s Dog
  189. Nameless Noggin of Hermit Who Kept to Himself and Once Pulled Up Potatoes in His Garden but Never Grew Anything Else Until One Day the Ground was Empty
  190. Nameless Noggin of Drunken Lady Who Went to Sleep on the Floor and Woke up with Her Dress Hiked Up Around Her Middle and No Memory of How It Got That Way or What Had Happened While She Was Asleep
  191. Nameless Noggin of Ragged Youth with Bloody Hands and Face Who Struck Down Policeman With a Brick and Got Away
  192. Nameless Noggin of Young Infuriated Man Who Beat His Wife in Front of the Schoolhouse and Then Took Her Inside and There She Stayed Until They Went Away Together to Missouri
  193. Nameless Noggin of Unfortunate Man Who Was Kicked in the Side by a Mule and Died Three Days Later in a Pool of Blood and Shit
  194. Nameless Noggin of Milkman Who Fought in Three Wars, Lost an Arm to a Booby-Trap Mine and Survived on Rum for Two Weeks until He Saw the Face of God in a Dog’s Eyes
  195. Nameless Noggin of Coward Whose Family Was Murdered Before His Eyes and Who Then Returned to the War as a Pilot Only to Be Shot Down by an Old Enemy
  196. Nameless Noggin of Man Who Walked Like a Duck Even When He Was All Alone
  197. Nameless Noggin of Farmer’s Daughter Whose Cows Turned Against Her One by One and Who Got a Black Eye from Her Grandmother’s Milking Stool
  198. Nameless Noggin of Old Man Whose Name No One Knew and Who Drank Only Water Mixed with the Ashes of His Wife and Who Once Hauled a Sausage Through a Town on a Horse-Drawn Wagon
  199. Nameless Noggin of Son Who Hated His Father So Much He Thought About Revenge All Day and Night Until He Became an Old Man Himself
  200. Nameless Noggin of Drunkard Whose Funeral Was Paid for by the Man Who Put Him in Jail
  201. Nameless Noggin of Bugger Whose Dog Took His Part When He Fought with His Wife and Fell
  202. Kim Jong Il, Lil’ Cheese Eater of North Korea and Supreme Commander of the Glorious People’s Army, Destroyer of Capitalist Running Dogs and Dictator for Life
  203. Stoned-Again Simon the One-Eyed Idiot
  204. Mr. Dearest
  205. Crapola Cola
  206. Honey Pie Pony Boy
  207. Samantha Threetimes
  208. Tiny Timmy Two-Fingers
  209. The Right Honourable Sir Lord Sir Baron Sir Professor Sir Dr. Sir Archibald Dingbodillybong
  210. Wesley ‘I am not a’ Taint
  211. Harold Licklydoo
  212. Maxwell Smell
  213. Gustav Eiffel
  214. Dr. Shatner-face
  215. Eggs Benedict Arnold
  216. Hugh Jass
  217. Gabe Nabisco Hands
  218. Lester Crabgobbler
  219. Leo Goldfishlips Butzburger (pronounced Buts-buur-gurr)
  220. Dr. Bumdiddly
  221. Huge Spaghetti
  222. Lars Negotiator
  223. Bob ‘Stinky’ Stinklestein
  224. Jebediah Stenchgut Hammy Bubblebutts
  225. Chester Crinklebuns
  226. Cosmo N. Wonderpup, Esq.
  227. Caspar Turdsmasher
  228. Birch Bogstrider
  229. Marty ‘Soapy’ Soapduds
  230. Mavis Dungflinger
  231. P. B. R. Roosterbanger, Esq.
  232. Bufford Tampon
  233. Turdsley D. Squintpants
  234. Stenchley Muck-Knockers
  235. Porkchop Pileup
  236. I. P. Freely
  237. Bananalipse
  238. Elton T. Forklift
  239. Sir Waddles-A-Lot
  240. Freddy ‘Lick Me!’ Leechwort
  241. Pete P. Uppitybear
  242. Hortense Fartbottom (pronounced Farthole)
  243. Leroy Crappypants
  244. Teddy Lower-Backbrain
  245. Pigdog Bifflesnorts
  246. Hank Tinkertrainer
  247. Eddie Garbagebutt
  248. Turds-a-Lutely P. Tolliver
  249. Pinky Ringworm (pronounced Ring-wurm)
  250. Kerry ‘Boomer’ Seltzerburger
  251. Hootie McBoobies
  252. Mr. Ears A Lot
  253. Peanut Chunkblower
  254. Biff Tannenbaum
  255. Cletus Crap
  256. Morris Pukestinkin
  257. Ouchy Von Prong
  258. Horatio Schmerzaderpanderpander
  259. Pepsi ‘N’ Dump
  260. Gerald ‘Bam Bam’ Bopfinger
  261. Bubbles ‘Jumpin’ Shagnasty’ Bopfinger
  262. Zippy Zippizzamunstrum
  263. Shirley ‘Mumbles’ Grumbles
  264. Pinky Ponkertonkerton
  265. Fluffy ‘Farty Pants’ Bunpucker
  266. Gus Flimflammerton
  267. Toady Rubnutsack
  268. Fester Floop
  269. Pam ‘Slap Ya Mama’ Boubonnais
  270. The Apathetic Lorax
  271. Tinkleheimer
  272. Lil’ Bush
  273. Benny Bungloose
  274. Gingerbread M. Fist
  275. Jebediah Woodchuck
  276. Sideshow Bob Rumbaloff
  277. Brett ‘The Hitman’ Hart
  278. Hickory Smoked Dick, Esq.
  279. Gnome E. Nutsplitter Jr
  280. Tootie Unfortunatebuttocks
  281. Max Q. Slacker

And our all-time favourites, for obvious reasons:

Earl.

Stinky Ploppenshitz.

Spanky Cratercrotch.

Fucker McCockface.

Kim Jong Un.

Dick Shitter.

Pythagorean Buttsecks.

Big Willy Nutsack.

Spencer Shit-stick.

Henchpenis T. Dingleberry.

Dr. Richard M. Semen.

Hernia (pronounced: Her-knee-uh).

Cindy Cockswitch.

Dick Turdstool.

Dick von Bush.

Dick Cheney.

Dick Pussy.

Johnny B. Jizzbag.

Adolph Hitler.

Honorable mentions go to:

R2-D2

Bing Bongalooney  (pronounced Balonga-looney)

C3-PO (pronounced See Three Poo)

Jar Jar Binks (pronounced Yaaar Jaar Binx)

Wicket E. Warrick (pronounced Wee-Chet Err-wuns)

Yoda (pronounced Yo-da)

Darth Vader (pronounced Dark Faader)

Stormtroopers, Clone Troopers, Rebel Soldiers, etc. (all of whom are called turds)